


Toddler Up

by itsfaberrytaboo (orphan_account)



Series: Wide Green Eyes [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bigs and littles are known, Diapers, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Maria Hill needs a hug, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Swift Kick in the Pants, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/itsfaberrytaboo
Summary: “You’re still mad about the Legos.”“I spent four days working on that replica of Dummy, yes, I am still mad about the Legos.”





	Toddler Up

**Author's Note:**

> The first parts of this deal with Natasha and Tony being held in captivity and forced to take headspace-altering pills, and being beaten for information. None of it's graphic but it's there, so please don't read if you find it triggering.
> 
> This is non-sexual age play between consenting adults. Again, if you find it triggering, don't read.

Natasha leaned her head against the wall, surveying the other side of the room for what must have been the hundredth time.

There was no two-way mirror, so they weren’t being watched like that, at least. She glanced over to Tony at her side. He was sat like she was, only his arms were crossed over his chest like he was extremely, very grumpy. She knew the feeling.

“I feel fundamentally disgusting.”

“You smell that way, too.”

Tony actually laughed. “You don’t smell like roses either, Romanoff.”

They could’ve at least waited to capture them both after a shower, instead of right in the middle of a battle. Natasha still had dirt in her hair, for god’s sake. Her wrists hurt from the restraints they had used, and she had a rather good-sized gash on her cheek.

“This sucks.”

They had given them drugs. Three days of a round white pill, twice a day. It had struck Natasha as odd; she would’ve thought that anyone with such a hate of littles as Hydra would still want to keep them in that headspace. Petulant two-year-old was a lot easier to deal with than “adult” Natasha, not to mention she couldn’t think that it would be effective to keep Iron Man in his “right mind.”

But Natasha was a remnant of the old guard, not the new. Their intel on Hydra regrouping after Pierce’s downfall was good, but not good enough at this point to predict. Which would explain hers and Tony’s current predicament. She’d known that drugs to keep people out of their Little headspace existed, knew that Hydra had a stockpile. Simmons and Morse had both confirmed that. Natasha had resisted at first. They’d held her jaws open until she’d choked on the water and the acrid taste of dissolving chemical.

She tried to hang on to what she knew. She tried to remember Mama, to remember the soft blanket she had at home in her little yellow room, how warm her bed felt and the soothing motion of the rocking chair, back and forth, back and forth, as Mama held her. If she remembered those times, she wouldn’t have to think about the fact that there was only one way in and out of their cell, and she wouldn’t have to think about the Red Room.

If she could think about Maria, and how happy they were together, Natasha wouldn’t feel it when their captors came for her and left Tony behind, alone.

One benefit of the pills that Hydra had underestimated, Natasha thought, was that they left her with that same high tolerance of pain taught at the hands of Madame B.

As always, Natasha told them nothing.

“Pepper’s probably going crazy.”

Natasha smiled slightly.

“Who’s Pepper?”

“Ha. Funny, have you ever tried a career as a comedian? Might go better than your run as a reformed assassin.”

“I could always backslide and kill you, Stark.”

“Just leave my face pretty.”

His lip was split, making his grin seem more like a grimace.

“ _Mommy_ is probably going crazy,” he amended. “But she could rescue me.”

That made Tony swell up with pride, and Natasha had to concede he was right. She’d thought at first that the tall blonde woman was little more than a paper pusher, but it had soon become apparent that Pepper was so much more. Natasha had no doubt that given the chance, Tony’s caregiver and girlfriend would be leading the charge to break them out of their prison.

They couldn’t slip into their little states, but that didn’t stop them from talking about it, and for that Natasha was grateful. It was keeping her from going insane. She’d already exhausted every potential plan of escape she could think of. Guards armed with staves and the fact that they kept their ankles bound made fighting back impossible. They’d taken her widow’s bite and Tony’s gauntlet, so for the first time in a long time, Natasha felt powerless.

“So could Maria.”

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Tony said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Maria’s a badass, and I don’t call anybody but myself a badass, usually.”

Natasha looked at him, a little surprised.

“What? She picked up the pieces after everything fell into a damn river, literally, _and_ she deals with you as a baby, _which_ I might add can be really fucking difficult.”

“You’re still mad about the Legos.”

“I spent four days working on that replica of Dummy, _yes_ , I am still mad about the Legos.”

“I got a spanking for that, what more did you want?”

“I wanted to take a swat,” Tony said. He shifted away from Natasha a little, still with his arms crossed over his chest. “But, you know, I guess it was pretty cool that you helped me rebuild it, and I guess it’s cool that you’re not a bad Avenger, and I guess it might be kind of cool that you and Maria make a good couple, and a good team, and you do all that sappy shit that makes me want to throw up my cheerios. But I like cheerios, so I don’t.”

Natasha laughed. “I think the drugs are getting to your head,” she teased.

“See what I mean? Comedian.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, until Tony broke the silence again.

“I don’t think Pepper is gonna come.”

“Probably not, they usually don’t let her do this sort of thing.”

“No.” Tony shook his head. “I mean, she’s mad at me.”

“Oh.”

Natasha didn’t really have experience in this sort of thing, but it wasn’t often that Tony Stark opened up about anything that didn’t include Stark Industries or taking down the latest threat. Besides, Natasha had been working on the whole “be a friend” attitude.

“About what?”

Tony shrugged. “I’m what you would call high maintenance. I like things done in a certain way. I’m used to dealing with things on my own. I wasn’t brought up to be a… little, and I wasn’t brought up to have the best track record with women. Pepper’s got a shit deal with me, and I think she’s starting to realize it.”

Natasha knew only a little bit of Tony’s life, to be honest. She knew he used to be a drunk, knew that his time in the Middle East hadn’t been, “easy” wasn’t even the word for it. And then there was the Arc Reactor and having to save the world on almost a monthly basis.

Plus, Natasha knew that Howard Stark hadn’t exactly been prime father material. Clearly he wasn’t happy with his son if Tony said he hadn’t been “brought up to be a little.” Natasha understood that, though, more than she thought the Iron Man knew. The Red Room may not have used drugs, but they used other means to make sure the girls suppressed any little tendencies that might exist. Natasha had, as always, been the best, the most obedient. Had forgotten until that night when she’d found herself in a rematch with her own trainer.

But it had been worth it; it had brought her Maria. And surely Pepper loved Tony the way Maria loved Natasha, little or big.

She opened her mouth to say so, but the sound of metal sliding against metal caused them both to tense, and Tony rose up on his knees.

“Get behind me,” he said to Natasha. “I think it’s my turn to play good cop bad cop anyway.”

“Screw that,” Natasha said, getting up herself and affecting the best fight stance she could. After three days’ captivity, it wasn’t much, even if she was enhanced.

“I want out, Stark.”

The metallic sound increased, like walls were being bent, like armor being thrown against armor.

“Let’s go then, itsy-bitsy.”

Somewhere, Natasha could swear she heard a yelp of pain. Multiple yelps of pain. She stared at Tony.

“… itsy-bitsy?”

There was crashing against the door to their cell. Both Natasha and Tony backed up. They were weak, they were tired, they’d had their little states torn away from them by science that Bruce had been researching for months. But there was a battle raging outside, Natasha knew it.

“Spider? Water spout? Sun, rain, come on, don’t tell me Maria hasn’t ever sang that to you.”

The door to their cell sprang inward, narrowly missing Natasha and Tony. Amid the crushing concrete and the shouts and groans of a fight, Natasha could see Cap’s shield. Sam’s wings. Her eyes fell on the figure with a gun, smoothly shooting a guard even with a helmet on.  She flinched a little when the figure approached her a little too quickly. 

Then the helmet was off, and Natasha found herself looking at Maria, who was extending a cautious hand.

“No,” Natasha said, just before she grasped that hand with eager, wearied fingers.

“She never has.”

Her world went black.

***

“Who’s my little girl, hmm? Who’s my favorite baby bunny?”

The voice was soft, not wheedling. Natasha’s eyes burned, and her face hurt. She grumbled, and turned away from whoever was speaking to her. She vaguely recognized that she was no longer crouched onto a hard floor against a grey wall. Everything around her was softness. Pastel yellow surrounded her, and Natasha made a surprised noise.

Home.

Home in her yellow bedroom, tucked into her safe bed with a cool breeze from the air conditioner blowing against her curls. She felt herself awakening a little more, and she shifted onto her back in the bed.

She felt clean, lighter, and she wasn’t wearing her suit anymore, but a simple tee-shirt and sweatpants.

Natasha opened her eyes to Maria smiling gently down at her from her position at the side of the bed. Judging by Maria’s loving yet tired expression, she hadn’t moved from the bed in a while.

One thing the drugs couldn’t do, Natasha thought, was break the bond. She reached up and touched Maria’s face.

“How long have I been out?”

“Almost an entire day,” Maria said, kissing her palm. “The docs cleared you but I had to pull rank to bring you home. I figured the last thing you’d need was to wake up in a hospital.”

“You gave me a bath while I was unconscious? That’s a little creepy, Hill.”

“You were stinky.”

It hurt to smile, but Natasha managed a small one anyway. The idea of Maria using her authority to bring Natasha home only made the Black Widow love her more, something she didn’t think possible.

“No diaper, though.”

“No,” Maria said carefully. “I didn’t know what the pills… I didn’t want you to drop like that night at the farm.”

Natasha drew in a slow breath, remembering. But around the memories of how anxious she’d been, how scared and confused everything was, she also remembered exactly what she was seeing now. Maria, strong and gentle even in her own shock. Maria had stepped up to take care of her in a way that Natasha thought no one ever would.

She wanted it now, so much.

“Will I be little again?” Natasha asked, focusing on the train Steve had gotten for her birthday, instead of Maria.

It was strange, the realization that once, the idea of being little had repulsed her. And now, the idea of not ever being little again terrified her.

Maria ran her fingers through Natasha’s bright red hair. “Bruce doesn’t think there will be any lasting effects. Tony’s already coming around a little bit, according to Pepper.”

“Good.” Natasha closed her eyes, relieved about Tony. “You know, he’s not a bad friend.”

“Maybe I should take you back to the hospital.”

She laughed, then shook her head as it hurt her ribs. “Don’t be mean.”

“Sorry, baby. Do you want something to eat?”

“No. Tired.”

She reached out blindly until Maria found her hand, and Natasha tugged, hard.

“Natasha, what— “

“Get in,” she demanded, still pulling. “I know you haven’t slept.” She rolled over again, facing the wall.

She heard Maria sigh, but felt the covers pull back and her girlfriend slipped in next to her. Natasha murmured in satisfaction, draping Maria’s arm over her waist and snuggling close to her front.

“Thanks for rescuing me,” Natasha whispered, and Maria squeezed her.

“I’m not bad at it.” She kissed Natasha’s temple. “Now sleep.”

***

When she woke again, the bed was soaked and Maria was gone.

Natasha looked around frantically. Yulia and Stepan had been placed in the bed with her, and her pacifier was resting on the side table as it always was. She grasped at it with her hand and shoved it into her mouth, giving it a few hesitant bites and sucks before removing it again.

Next to where her pacifier had been, a blinking green light told her that the small white baby monitor was on, and Natasha breathed a sigh of relief.

Mama wasn’t _gone_ , then.

Of course she wasn’t. She’d _never_ leave the baby by herself, so even if Mama wasn’t there, Sam or Pepper would be. Natasha loved it when Sam or Pepper would come to play. Sam would hoist Natasha onto his back and whirl around the house making plane noises like they were flying, and he loved all the same movies Natasha did. Mama never liked Natasha to watch tv a lot, but she only shook her head when she walked in and Sam and Natasha were glued to another Scooby Doo episode.

Pepper was a lot quieter than Sam, which was also just fine with Natasha. She hated that Pepper always had to bring her laptop and paperwork with her, but Pepper would let Natasha sit in her lap while she read emails, and once Pepper even slid them around the office in Mama’s wheeled chair. Pepper had laughed and laughed, and gave Natasha lots of kisses on her cheek. It made Natasha feel sort of important, that she could make Pepper laugh and not look so worried all the time.

So it would be _okay_ if Sam or Pepper were there, but Natasha knew who she really wanted, now that in the back of her mind she knew the drugs from Hydra had worn off.

She wrinkled her nose at her wet clothes and wet bedsheets as she shuffled a little closer to the edge of the bed towards the baby monitor.

“Mama,” she tried to say, but her voice was hoarse and came out as a little bit of a squeak. Natasha cleared her throat and tried again.

“Mama?”

It only took the time for Natasha to roll over for her to come face to face with her Mama. She squealed in surprise, her arms coming up to lock around Maria’s neck. Mama laughed and hoisted her up, not caring that Natasha was wet.

“I _missed_ my baby girl,” she said, kissing the crown of Natasha’s curls gently.

Natasha snuggled her face into Mama’s neck, protesting a little around her pacifier when she felt Maria swing her around and onto the broad changing table that stood against one wall of her bedroom. That was another invention of Tony’s. Natasha didn’t particularly like it, but she understood that it was better for Mama than leaning over her on the bed.

“Mama,” Natasha said, lightly batting at her chest with her hand. It was a little startling, waking up already so deep into her headspace, but she figured that was a side effect of withdrawal from the pills. And besides, Mama was there, so it wasn’t _too_ bad.

“Bunny,” Mama responded tapping the tip of her nose, and Natasha squirmed both at that and the cold sensation of the baby wipes as her mama cleaned her up. She’d been stripped of her tee-shirt and sweatpants already, and she blinked, surprised, when Mama put her in a pair of footie pajamas over her diaper.

She’d never worn footie pajamas, especially not ones that apparently had a flap cover for changes. Natasha wasn’t sure she liked it.

Mama saw her look, and pulled her up to sit on the changing table, kissing her cheek. “Uncle Bruce says that you might feel very, very small for a little while since the drugs are wearing off. If you don’t, that’s okay, we can take these off.”

She considered this, tilting her head in a way that made her Mama softly smile. And really, Mama’s smiles were the best, so Natasha just shrugged and rested her head on Mama’s chest. She didn’t feel much like talking.

Right then her stomach did enough of the talking for Natasha, and Mama laughed. “That was noisy,” she said, pinching Natasha’s belly, and Natasha pouted. Mama lifted her off the changing table and took her hand.

“I was making some potato soup because I thought you’d be hungry when you woke up,” she explained, leading Natasha carefully and slowly down the stairs into their living room, then into the kitchen. “Turns out I was right, wasn’t I?”

“Bottle?” Natasha only questioned. Mama’s potato soup was really good, but so was milk. She was torn on which one she’d like the most.

“Sure.” Maria helped Natasha onto her chair. “How about this? You eat a little bit of soup and crackers and then we’ll finish up with a bottle. We need to go slow so you won’t get sick.”

“Okay.” Natasha was patient as Mama scooped some of the soup into her favorite bowl, then sprinkled a few goldfish crackers on top.

“Do you want me to feed you?”

Natasha shook her head. “I can do it, Mama.”

“I’ll make your bottle then. You let me know if you need help.”

The soup was the best she’d had, ever. Maybe it was because she hadn’t really eaten in captivity, or maybe it was because she was _home_. Safe at home in their kitchen, warm and comfy in footie pajamas, with Mama moving back and forth warming up Natasha’s bottle. Natasha hiccupped a little.

“Hey.” Mama sat down next to her and tipped Natasha’s chin up with her hand. “What are these tears, little bunny? What’s wrong?”

“Mama came and got me,” she said.

Mama smiled, and rubbed Natasha’s back gently. She really was adorable in her fleecy white pajamas with the multicolored hearts on it. “Do you remember when Mama promised that she wouldn’t let anyone hurt you anymore?”

“Yeah.” Natasha looked down at the table. “I was real little then.”

She knew she was real little _now_ , but that didn’t mean she had to admit it.

“Mama can’t always keep that promise, baby girl.” Maria sounded sad now, and Natasha reached out to grab at her hand. “But I’ll always try my hardest to come and get you, okay?”

“Me too, Mama,” Natasha declared stubbornly. Even when she felt like a two-year-old (or a little younger, stupid pills), she knew she’d always rescue Maria Hill, come hell or high water. She’d long come to realize that Maria couldn’t protect her from everything, and Natasha wouldn’t be able to keep Maria from stupid council members or aliens attacking the world. And neither one of them wanted to think about a day when the other would no longer be there.

But for now, it was enough to know that they would always _try_.

Natasha finished up her soup and crackers like Maria had told her to, and then she waddled – thanks to the diaper – alongside her mama to the living room, where Maria held her close in her arms and fed her the bottle. It was moments like that which helped Natasha forget her past as the Black Widow. Forget that she was an assassin, that she was an agent of SHIELD, even. She loved to be able to put all of that away and be coddled, cooed over. Maria petted her hair and patted her diaper-clad bottom. She put a silly baby education video on the television because she knew the bright colors and tinkling music soothed Natasha when she was in her headspace. And, Natasha’s favorite, she rocked her in her arms and whispered words of love and praise in her ear. Natasha knew that it was just as much for Maria as it was for her; she caught a few glimmering tears on Maria’s eyelashes, which made her heart hurt, thinking about how much Mama must have missed her and worried about her.

Natasha spent another couple of days feeling a lot smaller than usual, but soon enough things went mostly back to normal and, against a protest or two from Maria, she started back to work. It was cute, seeing how everyone fussed over her and Tony. Steve especially didn’t seem to want to let either of them out of his sight, which would normally annoy Natasha but she couldn’t deny that she did love being fussed over. And if it gave Captain America peace of mind, Natasha wasn’t sure she’d have the heart to tell him no.

Three days into it, Tony cornered Natasha in one of the hallways. He was holding what Natasha knew was one of his favorite toys, a worn teddy bear, and she looked at him curiously.

Tony left her in silence for a few moments, before finally shoving it at Natasha.

“Take care of him for me, will you?”

“Did you get hit on the head by a falling robot or something?” Natasha scoffed, leaning up against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. “I don’t want your stupid bear.”

Instead of rolling his eyes or snapping back at her, Tony pushed the toy at her, looking anguished. “Just… keep it, will you?”

Natasha felt sick as the realization washed over her.

“You fucking idiot, you’re taking the pills, aren’t you?”

Tony glanced away, and Natasha pulled her fist back and punched him in the shoulder. He didn’t even flinch.

“Answer me!”

“Not yet,” he said, looking down at the bear he was turning over in his hands. “But I know where to get them if I want to.”

“Why would you _want_ to?” Natasha began to pace the floor, gesturing in her frustration.  In reality, she understood why some people would want to turn off their headspaces. She guessed it did make some things difficult, sometimes. Still, she couldn’t imagine not being with Maria; she couldn’t imagine not being _little_ with Maria.

It was who she was, and it was who Tony Stark was, whether he wanted to be or not.

“Look,” Natasha said, coming to stand next to him again. “How’s Pepper been since we got out of there?”

Tony shrugged. “She’s great. She’s never been anything but great. I’m the one that’s the problem.”

“I didn’t ask that.”

“And I said she’s been great. She’s been perfect. Even when I dropped so little I couldn’t even feed myself. She’s afraid something’s going to happen to me again so she’s really not all that happy I’m here right now.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Do you know what it’s like being punched in the shoulder? For such a dainty little red-headed flower, that hurt.”

“Good.” She smirked, then Natasha shook her head. “I don’t know what you think is so horrible about yourself, but I’m sure it’s nothing that you and Pepper can’t work out.”

“It’s not that. I’m not used to good things, Romanoff.”

Now that she did understand, completely.

“Yeah. Like you said, track records suck. But for fuck’s sake, Tony, toddler up and talk to her. I’m sick of you mooning around and trying to give away your stuffed animals. Mama says I have too many anyway. Which isn’t true.”

“No, not like you’re spoiled or anything.” This time he did roll his eyes, and Natasha knew that things would be okay.

Tony glanced down at the teddy bear in his hands again. “You don’t think she’ll leave?”

Natasha pushed off the wall with her foot. “She hasn’t left you yet. And if you try to leave, I think she’ll chase after you. Might as well stay.”

“Might as well stay,” Tony echoed, his eyes a little wide, as if in wonder. He nodded, allowing himself a little hug of his bear.

“Thanks, Nat.”

“Yeah. Don’t mention it. Ever.”

He laughed; she saw him pull out his phone and dial Pepper’s number. “Laura’s this weekend?”

“See you there.”

As Tony walked away, Natasha could see Maria coming towards her down the hall. Natasha grinned and, reaching for the pacifier that was tucked away in her pocket, ran to meet her Mama.


End file.
